worry worry

worries will never go away eh. it actually leaves an empty feeling when your not around. i guess it was a long weekend.

Another one i found. Simpler this time.

Olive-Walnut Stuffed Potato Bites
Makes about 24 potato balls.

2 lbs russet potatoes (about 3 large)
3/4 cup flour
salt and pepper
1/3 cup walnuts
2 tablespoons golden raisins
1 cup green olives (pimento-stuffed ones work nicely), rinsed
1/2 lemon zest
1/2 teaspoon allspice
1 teaspoon fresh oregano, optional

1. Put a large pot of water to boil. Peel the potatoes and roughly chop. Cook the potatoes in boiling salted water until tender. Drain the potatoes and place in a large bowl. Shake the bowl to allow some of the steam to escape from the potatoes so that they dry out slightly. Using a potato masher, mash the potatoes until very smooth. Sprinkle in the flour and season with salt and pepper. Mash the mixture to form a smooth combined dough. Set aside.
2. Chop the walnuts and raisins until it forms a coarse meal (chunks are fine). Add the olives and sumac and spices chop just so you have a chunky mixture.
3. Working with damp hands, take a golf-ball sized piece of potato, flatten in your palm, fill with a small spoonful of olive mixture, then close up and roll into a ball. Continue forming balls, placing them on a baking sheet, until mixture is used up. Refrigerate potato balls 1/2 hour before frying (if you have the time otherwise fry it right away).
4. To fry: Heat a pot of oil to very hot. Fry balls in batches until golden brown, remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Serve hot.
To bake: preheat oven to 450 F. Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and add a generous amount of olive oil to the pan. Roll potato balls around to coat with oil, then space evenly on the baking sheet. Bake in the lower third of the oven for 10-12 minutes, or until the bottoms are golden brown (the balls will flatten slightly). Flip over and bake another 5-10 minutes, so that the second side is browned. Keep an eye on the balls so that they don’t melt or brown too much. Let cool at least ten minutes before serving (this helps firm the balls so that they don’t fall apart). Can be done ahead and reheated.

*You can omit the walnut if you can’t find any or substitute with something else.

Aleppo-Style Kebab

Found this online at desert candy. Sounds really yummy. Try it sweetie.

2 lbs ground lamb or beef, preferably very lean
2 medium-sized onions, grated or pulsed in a food processor
1/2 cup chopped flat-leaf parsley
1 teaspoon each cinnamon, allspice
salt and pepper to taste
for the tomato sauce:
1/4 cup olive oil
6 garlic cloves, sliced
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 28-ounce can diced tomatoes
1 to 2 teaspoons Aleppo pepper, or substitute a mixture or red pepper and paprika
1/2 teaspoon sumac or lemon zest
to serve:
pita bread (the very thin kind)
lots of chopped parsley

1. Place all the kebob ingredients in a large bowl. Knead the mixture with your hands for 5-10 minutes. The mixture will change consistency and become quite sticky (the nature of the proteins in the meat have changed, which is what you want). Cover the mixture and refrigerate for at least half an hour.
2. Make tomato sauce: Heat the olive oil in a large pan. Add the sliced garlic and cook over low heat so that the garlic softens but does not brown. Add the tomato paste, stirring so that it lightly toasts, then add the chopped tomatoes. Season with salt, pepper, and sumac. Simmer the mixture for about 20 minutes until it forms a nice chunky-thick sauce. Taste for seasoning (it should be pleasantly spicy) then set aside.
3. Preheat a grill or broiler. Have the tomato sauce warm, but not piping hot. Using damp hands, form the kebabs around metal skewers (they may want to fall off at first, just work the meat mixture around the skewer with your hands until it is cohesive). Grill or broil the kebobs for 8-10 minutes, turning once.
4. Open up half the pita breads. Use the breads open-side up to line your serving platter. Slide the kebobs off their skewers onto the bread (if you used a broiler and there are some meat juices on the pan, pour them over the bread as well). Spread the tomato sauce over the kebabs. Sprinkle chopped parsley over the platter. Serve, making sure everyone gets some of the bread, kebab, and sauce, with extra pita bread alongside.

When responsibility feels like too much

I was thinking about how much I feel responsible about work and what I do.

I worry when I am absent from work even when i am ill or have more important things to tend to. I worry if work is done, I worry if it can wait, I worry if my colleagues will get mad at me cause i do it so often. Yes i worry a lot.

And since i was on the track of responsibility, I wondred if every working person feels the same way. Or if it was just me. If every working person out there would worry if they took a day off or went on leave. And i wonder if they get as paranoid as me.

And then i wondered, where is the limit? When do we take too much responsibility for things we can’t control or take charge off. Like me being ill for example. Even to the extend of being responsible for someone you love. When is too much?

When should i stop worrying when should i stop feeling responsible?
Like if something big happens to him like an accident. Or if he gets really ill. And i’ll feel responsible for it. Why? I don’t know. You just feel like you played a part.

Exactly the way you say it baby. When I’m sick, if anything happens to me. You will feel responsible. But why?

I mean…when is responsibility too much?
When does it become obsessive?
Where do you stop?

being committed

i think…im rather committed. not in all things…but things that are important to me or things that i enjoy. one of those things would be practicing magic. yes i still do magic on and off. not VERY committed like some of my crazy magic friends which i will be making an appearance on our blog soon, then u can see how geeky magic freaks they are.

but being committed is by putting in hours of hard work and sacrifices for the commitment. being selfless in situations that demand your time. putting priorities. and persevering on for the commitments.

and i was so committed to my magic that even when i DROPPED my COIN in the TOILET bowl while practicing…i was committed to taking it out. FREAKING GROSS.  the things i do for magic.  i even have to practice in the toilet….coz..i dun have a mirror. darn.

But mum…

I met a few copywriters today again. It was funny meeting all of them as we are all of different ages and we come from extremely different backgrounds. We realised there is a vast generation gap between us. We have some with us whom parents don’t speak English at all as they came from China. And then there was another group whom parents were English educated. And then there were those where parents are too busy to ever be there to care very very much though i’m sure they are still loved.

I was one of the 2 who’s parents were English educated. The other was about 40 years old. In the middle of a conversation, he turned to me and said “Even if you are 40 years old and your mum is about 70, even if you have worked as a copywriter for about 20 years, even if you are married and have your own family, even if you are a senior copywriter and is one of the most well known in your country, your English educated mother will still correct your grammar every time you speak.”

I almost fell of my chair in laughter. This is the 2nd senior copywriter to have told me that and i still do find it very very amusing.

I think i like feisty red better

Because red is so…out there.
And yellow is so toned down. I think i am a little louder than yellow.
But yellow is pretty…wild. *wink*

she was all yellow

i like yellow. such a daring colour. seductive as well.

yes yellow *winks*

helter skelter

i wonder what helter skelter means. it just suddenly popped into my mind. mind you im not listening to the song or anything. i dont even like the song.

it sounds so hectic. i like it. like a roller coaster ride down a messy path. you just dont know where ull end up. yea. jus a thought.

Tick tock

Most of the time, more than anything else, I wish we would always be happy, that we would always love each other in more ways than one.

Work, and everything else that seems to make sense now is secondary. Just another means of carrying our love forward.

Because all I really want is to be with you.  And to be with you always.